


Dear You

by Ina_Unscathed



Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Catharsis, Gen, Hive Mind, Letters from her old self, Light Angst, Multi, The coat she wore home from the party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ina_Unscathed/pseuds/Ina_Unscathed
Summary: “I’m sorry,” she said.Teddy’s head jerked up as if they were startled, or had forgotten she was there.Like they were seeing a ghost.--Myfanwy finds a note in a coat pocket.
Relationships: Gestalt (The Rook) / Myfanwy Thomas
Kudos: 57





	Dear You

Teddy Gestalt looked up when Myfanwy knocked. He nodded once, admitting her into their office.

Myfanwy pushed the door closed behind her carefully, knowing she was broadcasting her nervousness, but unable to stop. She turned back around to face Gestalt, fidgeting. She wished it wasn’t Teddy, he was less expressive than the other bodies. He was frowning at her, eyes narrowed as they noted her nervousness.

“Myfanwy,” he greeted coolly.

Then again, perhaps it was better that it was Teddy. 

“Are you driving?” Myfanwy asked, plunging her hands into the pockets of her coat, feeling the paper against her fingertips. It was already wrinkled, some of the text scratched out, streaked with tears. She had found it that way.

Teddy tilted his head, eyes narrowing. After a beat, he shook his head. “What’s going on?” he started to rise, but she shook her head. Warily they sat back down.

“I found… I found something.” She pulled her hands out of her pockets, with the note. “In my coat this morning. I hadn’t worn this coat until now. Not since…” She cleared her throat, stepped forward so she could hand the paper over. “I… I think you should see it.”

Teddy took the paper from her carefully, unfolded it quickly.

It wasn’t a long letter, but he took he sat reading for a long time.

_Dear You,_ the letter read. 

_If you get the chance, please tell Gestalt I am sorry. Out of everything I regret that I will forget them the most._

_Dammit. I don’t know who to trust. The psychic told me that someone I trust will betray me. Someone in the Chequy. Someone in the court._

_But it’s been me and Gestalt ever since I came to the Chequy. They were the only one who wasn’t afraid of me. My power is touch-based, but they were the only one who would touch me. They were the only one who would still look me in the eye after Bristol. ~~It can’t be Gestalt~~_

_All of this time I’ve been preparing for you to take over – take over my life or make your own. Preparing to trust no one. And I have been stepping back, preparing to be wiped away. It feels like I’m DYING._

_~~Something happened tonight. Fuck something~~ _

_~~Something happened tonight. I was at a party. Gestalt was there.~~ _

_I slept with Gestalt. ~~I didn’t~~ I shouldn’t have. Not when I’m about to go. ~~I shouldn’t have~~_

_Tell Gestalt I am sorry. I was frightened, and I was so lonely. I should not have done that to them, or to you. Not when I am about to leave. It was selfish._

_Gestalt has always been there when I was scared. And I’ve been so scared it was just so it was just so easy to turn to them when I was afraid. They are always_

_~~I want to stay I DON’T WANT TO DIE~~ I wish I could stay with them. It felt like I was supposed to be there in their arms. Like I was home_

The letter ended abruptly. It wasn’t signed, though it was obviously in Myfanwy’s handwriting. The paper was soft from being crumpled and then flattened. Like the old Myfanwy Thomas had crumpled it and thrown it away; but then she’d pulled it out, flattened it back out, folded it up and put it back in her pocket. Tear tracks nearly obliterated some of the text.

The new Myfanwy watched Teddy’s face; her throat tight. 

Teddy’s jaw was clenched. She could watch his eyes flickering across the text, back up to the top. His posture was as still as a statue.

She finally let herself crumple into the chair opposite his desk, her knees too weak to keep her upright.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Teddy’s head jerked up as if they were startled, or had forgotten she was there. 

Like they were seeing a ghost.

Myfanwy couldn’t hold Teddy’s gaze for long, dropping her eyes to stare at her hands in her lap.

“I wish I hadn’t forgotten you,” she said quietly. Even looking at her hands was too much, she could still feel them staring at her. She closed her eyes. “I get flashes – more emotions than memories. You meant a lot to her, she had--” Myfanwy cleared her throat, trying to loosen the tightness.

“And you?” Teddy’s tone was sharp, when she opened her eyes, he was staring at her. She wondered if Gestalt’s other bodies were expressing the emotion that Teddy wasn’t. Punching walls. Yelling at helpless officers. She was almost certain that they were. “What do I mean to _you_?” Gestalt demanded.

Myfanwy opened her mouth for a quick answer, but closed it again. Gestalt deserved a real answer. Teddy’s eyes narrowed at her hesitation. 

“I feel the same way she does,” she said, quickly, before they could get impatient. “But I don’t know if it’s her or if it’s me. Or if I _am_ her. You make me feel safe, but I don’t I.” Myfanwy clenched her hands in her lap, shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. “I don’t even know if _you_ know me when _I don’t even know who I am._ ”

“Myfanwy,” Gestalt said. Teddy’s face had softened, mouth tilting toward sorrow.

“I wanted to tell you,” she said weakly. “Every instinct was telling me that I could trust you.”

Teddy stood up quickly, came around the desk.

Myfanwy sighed and tipped her chin toward the desk, where Gestalt had left the letter. “I thought you should see for yourself that she didn’t want to leave you.”

“But _you_ did,” Gestalt hissed. They took a quick breath to calm themself. “Have you decided to stay?” they asked.

Myfanwy nodded, trying to ignore their anger. “I think I’m safer here. I think I can help people here.” She folded her fingers together in her lap. “I’m safer with you. I want…” She took a breath. “I want to figure out who I am. And I think you can help me with that.”

Teddy’s expression was cool. “That’s complicated, Myfanwy.”

Myfanwy kept her seat, but she looked up at him and met his gaze squarely. “You don’t have to date me, Gestalt. We could just be friends.” Her tone was even. Reasonable.

Teddy froze, expression fixed. Myfanwy _knew_ their other bodies were reacting while Teddy did not. She sighed, pushed her hands down her lap and then stood up.

“You don’t have to answer me now. You can think about it.” She didn’t try to meet their eyes, heading for the door. “I mean it, Gestalt. I would like you to be in my life.”

Teddy’s voice was stiff when they responded. “Friends. I will always be your friend, Myfanwy.”

Myfanwy nodded. “Thank you,” she said as she left. She didn’t dare look back. She didn’t want to watch Teddy return to the desk, and the letter from the woman they had lost.


End file.
